"You really want to be a P.E. teacher?"

So, this will be my first official post since the mission. Things have changed so much since then. If you knew me and my life before the mission, you know that my life is, currently,  going in a very different direction than before. I've decided I would blog about my decisions, because a lot of people seem to scoff at some of them. So, here's the whole story:

When I was 12 years old I decided that I was going to be a nurse. I knew right away that it was exactly what I wanted to do. As I grew up and started high school I began to take classes that would prepare me for my career. I fell in love with Anatomy and Physiology! Science and Math were my best subjects and I did everything to ensure that I could get a scholarship and get into the programs in college. I took a CNA (certified nurses assistant) course my senior year in preparation for nursing school.

When I graduated I applied to 10 different CNA jobs in Utah county-where I would be attending school. I got offered a job the next day and I moved myself to Orem, Utah. I worked for a year there and I enjoyed it-for the most part. I knew that what I was doing would make a difference.

I moved back home after a year and continued to pursue my education in nursing. I found another CNA job in Ogden and stayed there for a year. While working there I applied for the nursing program at the Davis Applied Technology College (DATC) for the second time. The first time I applied I knew that I wouldn't get in, but I knew I would need the re-application points in the future.
I had been considering going on a mission, but it was more an afterthought than anything. I decided that, if I didn't get into the nursing program the second time around, I would submit my mission papers. Well, we all know that God has a sense of humor and He proved it by putting me on the waitlist for the nursing program. I decided to take a leap of faith and submit my mission papers.

I knew that, by going on a mission, it would jeopardize my chances of getting in. However, it felt right. I finished my Associate's degree and all of the classes required to get into the program. All I had to do was apply. I readied all of my necessary paperwork so that my mom could apply for the program for me and I could start as soon as I got home from Sacramento.

While I was in the Missionary Training Center (MTC) in Provo I would have fleeting moments where I would look at where I wanted to go in life-and that didn't include nursing. I would brush those feelings aside every time and continue focusing on the Lord's work. I prayed very often for help not to think about the future.

When I arrived in Sacramento, however, I was still struggling now and again. I was especially bothered by the "Keep the Sabbath Day Holy" lesson. I felt like such a hypocrite when I was telling people to quit working on Sunday so that they could attend church, while simultaneously planning to return home and pursue a career that would force me to work on Sundays. I voiced these concerns to my mission President. He tried to help put my concerns at ease, but the only thing he really told me to do was to stop focusing on home and start focusing on the mission. I was really sad and confused by his counsel because that's exactly what I had been trying so hard to do for the last 4 months. I could get rid of it for a few days, but it would come back anyway.

It went on like this for another couple of months. I would pray to stay focused, forget about it for a  week or two, and then the thoughts would come back. I was starting to get really discouraged.

Then, one day, while I was doing my personal study with my two companions, it happened. I could swear to this day that my companions said it, because I clearly heard a voice say to me, "You will not go into nursing." I turned to my companion and asked, "What did you say." She responded quietly-and a little confused, "I didn't say anything."

That was my answer. What I'd been fighting the previous 6 months had finally struck home. I knew that I couldn't fight it anymore, so I gave in. I was still very confused, though. I'd been studying to be a nurse for 10 years. I had no backups-I'd never thought to have one. I waited a month or so before I told my parents about my decision and they weren't exactly thrilled about it. But, I knew that I received that prompting for a reason.

Fast-forward a year to my decision to attend BYU. I had applied to 2 schools: BYU and Utah State. I prayed long and hard and decided that BYU is where I wanted to finish my schooling (whatever that was supposed to be). I returned home and I still had no idea what I wanted to study. Well, that's a lie. I still wanted to study nursing, but I knew that was out. Without going into much detail, I spent a lot of sleepless hours at night crying and begging my Heavenly Father to let me know what He wanted from me, since my decisions clearly weren't right.

I started school, taking classes that were required in order to graduate from BYU. I felt like I was wandering around aimlessly. I had no major, and no direction. I felt lost-to say the least.

I prayed and studied the scriptures for a long time and counseled with my parents and friends. I was going nowhere. I decided to finally go and talk to a career counselor...BEST DECISION EVER! He helped me to think of things in a different light and he put a lot of things into perspective for me. It's funny because when I was younger I swore that I would never, EVER, become a teacher! Trying to help my brother and sister with their homework was a nightmare for me and it always ended in tears and fighting. I guess it was the subject matter that I really hated. So, after a couple of weeks in the counselor's office and a lot of thought and prayer and reading and temple attendance, I picked Physical Education as my major, with a Spanish Ed and Health Ed minor.

At first, I was really skeptical about telling people what I am studying. Mostly because there was a lot of criticism from people I thought would be supporting me. I heard it all, "You are so smart. Why are you wasting that?" "You aren't going to make very much money." "Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, teach P.E." "That's...interesting..."But, people are stupid (myself included), so I decided to just ignore them. I now love to tell people what my major is! Yes, I could probably pick any major I wanted and excel in it. No, I probably won't become a millionaire in my lifetime. Yes, it will probably be frustrating and hard to find a job after graduation. Trust me, I'm more than aware of this. But, you know what? I don't care. I'm doing something that I love. So there.

That is it. That is the story. Haters will hate, and I will find out who my friends are. Loves!